It’s all about the Benjamins, baby.
I want to revisit the lessons learned in this post, mainly because I haven’t adequately learned them yet. I promised you guys I wasn’t going to go Thoreau on you, but now I’m starting to see the wisdom in dear old Henry David’s words. More than 150 years after its initial publication, Thoreau’s unassuming little memoir Walden, or Life in the Woods is considered a classic of American literature, but his call to “simplify, simplify, simplify” is largely unheeded by American citizens. Maybe we ignore Thoreau’s call because he was a really weird guy (according to Wikipedia, he encountered zombies while living at Walden pond, which proves something I’ve long believed: going without the company of other human beings for an extended period of time will make a fellow bloomin’ crazy). Maybe we think that Thoreau’s ideas were great for the mid-nineteenth century, but we believe that in today’s world we need all the conveniences of modern life. Or maybe we’re quite honest with ourselves and say, “I don’t need ‘em, but I sure do like ‘em, so you are NOT taking away my 42-inch plasma screen television, nyeh!”
I’ve often wondered why the idea of living without television or indoor plumbing sounds like absolute torture to me, but the people around the world who were born in such circumstances and die in the same don’t seem to mind. Certainly there are necessities that many of our planet’s citizens suffer without: clean water, nutritious and plentiful food, basic medical care. But beyond those things which keep us healthy and whole, what else do we really NEED? I referred to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in my earlier post, and I have to say that I really think Maslow hit the nail on the head when he identified our basic human needs - not just the biological ones, but the more “touchy-feely” ones, such as creativity and self-esteem.
The key to understanding ourselves and truly enjoying life (or so I believe - you’re welcome to disagree with me) is to figure out what we really need and recognize that the rest of it is all gravy. Countless articles have been written on the subject of whether or not money can buy happiness (my favorite is the one about how rich people have better sex), and so-called experts seem to be just as confused as most of us laypeople. Some say that because wealth offers us a multitude of choices, it ups our happiness quotient. We’re not “stuck” in a small house, or with a rusted, beat-up old car. We can choose to have modest posessions if we like, or we can choose to show of our good fortune. The delight is in the choosing.
Others say that once a family rises above the poverty line, they’re as happy as they’re gonna get - whether their income to expenses ratio continues to increase or not. The stress of being unable to pay bills for basic human needs - food, clothing, shelter - and being unable to occasionally indulge our higher, more cerebral needs - such as spontaneity - is what makes poor people unhappy. But once a person has a secure home, is adequately clothed and fed, has regular stimulation for the mind, he or she is just as happy as someone who has ten times as much material assets.
The problem here, folks - and this is a problem I know well, since I managed to sink myself into a deep hole of consumer debt after my first marriage ended - oh, and I should mention that I can’t blame my ex-husband or the divorce for that financial fluff-up; it was all my own doing - is that we make more financial stress for ourselves by living above our means and lusting for things out of our reach. It occurred to me this morning that I think God is trying extra-special-hard to teach me that I do NOT need all the things I have, and that if I would allow myself to think outside the proverbial box (in this case, it’s a digital cable box or a bag of brand-new clothes bought at ridiculously high retail prices), I would find a life that is infinitely more peaceful. The issue isn’t that I don’t have enough resources to meet my needs; it’s that I need to adjust my “needs” to meet my resources.
This is a drum I’ve beat for a long time - occasionally. I mean, every few months I’d become frustrated with my credit card statement and I’d pick up the drumsticks and started pounding out, “I - DON’T - NEED - STUFF - TO - MAKE - ME - HAPPY!” And then a day or so later I’d become quite put out when all my friends went out to dinner without me, or I realized that I was going into the summer with “only” two pairs of shorts, or I decided I was bored with the dozens (okay, hundreds) of books on my bookshelf, half (okay, three-quarters) of which I’ve never read. Being sorely afflicted by my terrible fate in life, I’d dust off the credit card and “treat myself” to an expensive dinner (that’s only slightly better, if at all, than anything I can make at home) or a whole new summer wardrobe (purchased at a department store, because combing through racks of pre-worn clothing at a thrift store for something that fits and flatters is just “too much work”) or an armful of brand-new books (bought full-price at the mall bookstore without bothering to check whether they’re available at my local library for FREE or online at a significant discount).
In other words - I think I figured this all out a long time ago, but as of yet I haven’t put my money where my mouth is. Or stopped putting my money where - er, no… Well, you get it.
At this point I realize that making a positive change in one’s life is a whole lot more than just a cerebral understanding of what’s wrong. Especially since the issue of money and possessions is quite an emotional one for most of us. I think that’s why, so far, God hasn’t opened up the sky to drop a garbage bag full of $100 bills on my head. Although it would be great to hit the reset button on my debt, and to start over with a clean slate - and though I say over and over, “I promise, God, if you fix this for me, I’ll NEVER get into this predicament again!” - I think God and I both know that I need to learn this lesson the hard way. I need to be willing to “suffer” a little bit, or at least put some effort into getting where I want to be.
Also of interest: Without their money by Toban Black and Schedules and Hard Stops by Jennifer @ Conversion Diary.
