Effortless Effervescence

Sadly, Munchies Monday just didn’t happen yesterday because your favorite blogellectual was ill. I’m still not feeling 100%, but I think I’m on the upswing.

I don’t have much of substance to say today, except that as of this morning, I have NOT smoked 1,000 cigarettes. That’s right, y’all, 2 months, 3 weeks and 10 hours of non-smoking translates into 1,000 cigarettes not smoked, and more than $260 saved. I still can’t believe I’ve made it this far, but I am so, so glad that I decided to quit. Yes, again - but you know what? Sometimes it takes several tries to get it right

It’s been a busy, non-blogging week. Here’s what I’ve been up to:

• I’ve been sick with a yucky cold since last weekend, when a sore throat showed up. It was followed by headache, congestion, and coughing. At times like this, I put all my trust in Ibuprofen + Pseudoephedrine to make me feel like a reasonable facsimile of a human being. Still, I’ve been operating at far less than 100%.
• I’ve been continuing my reading on religious (particularly Christian) matters. I’m not the sort of person who goes whole-hog on research; my attention span is short concerning things I don’t find compelling, so I’m doing a good bit of skipping from book to book. The God Delusion failed to hold my attention long, simply because I found the author’s tone so condescending. I do grasp Dawkins’ reasoning and can give his arguments credit, but I don’t think he & I will ever see eye-to-eye. And that’s okay. Right now I’m in the middle of Reasons to Believe: One Man’s Journey Among the Evangelicals and the Faith He Left Behind by John Marks. This book is interesting to me because I “get” Marks’ experience. However, it’s a slow-moving story, and I’m not quite sure what his point is, and it focuses on a segment of the Christian population that may not be as interesting to others who haven’t lived in it, as I did.
• I’m woefully behind on a beta reading assignment, so when I feel well enough to think cognitively, I’ve been pushing through his novel’s partial first draft.
• My husband and I gained two new roommates: my younger brother & his girlfriend will be staying with us for a few months. It’s a comfortable arrangement except that I think my dog might like them better than me.
• Progress on my memoir is currently stalled. No, make that full-stop. I have only myself to blame. And only myself to rely on if I expect to start moving again.
• Preparing for our upcoming vacation, which includes scheduling Milo for his annual visit and immunization updates so he can safely stay at the local kennel. (We go on vacation and the dog does, too!)
• Ordinary, boring life-type stuff such as laundry and organizing and cleaning.

I think - I hope - that my cold is on the downswing and that I’ll be happier/perkier/bloggier soon. Until then, please send thoughts of clear sinuses my way.

Oh, dedicated Smooch-fans, how could I have abandoned you for so long? Mostly because I was so wrapped up in other stuff that I haven’t been in a blogging place. After my last post about Rev. Cutie, I had some very interesting conversations with a couple of friends, so I’ve been in a very thinking-and-reading-about-God-and-searching-my-soul place. Basically, I’ve been thinking for so long about the kind of Christian I don’t want to be that I’ve forgotten to think about (and work towards) the kind of Christian I DO want to be. And that’s just silly - no one ever reached a goal by avoiding all the goals they didn’t want to hit. Right?

There are some aspects of my faith that I just “know in my knower” - I KNOW that God is love, I’ve experienced it, I can’t deny it. (Which is not to deny that many people have experienced God & the church as the opposite of love - I’m trying to own my experience while keeping a respectfully open mind to others’.) There are also aspects of my faith that need help, that need to grow. To that end, I went to the library on Saturday and checked out nearly a dozen books on Christian apologetics. Today I returned to the library to pick up two books on “Atheist apologetics,” and I have one more book on that subject on reserve. (I know that the volume to Christiany books vs. the volume of Atheisty books represents a firm bias towards religious belief, but in my defense, I know what names & concepts to look for in the Christian apologetics field, and I only have a couple of recommendations of Atheist works to go on. I think I should at least get credit for trying to get the full story from both sides. Right? Give me a cookie for that, okay?)

Speaking of Atheisty books, I’m about two chapters into Richard Dawkins’ The God Delusion, and I think it says a lot about who I am that I’m tempted to throw the book across the room not because of Dawkins’ attacks on God but because of one rude little comment about feminism. Hey, I’m used to hearing that it’s dumb to believe in a big man in the sky who sees me when I’m sleeping and knows when I’m awake and knows if I’ve been bad or good. (So be good, for goodness’ sake!) I am NOT used to (and NOT tolerant of!) someone telling me it’s dumb to think that women should be treated with the same respect as men because we’re all human beings, after all. Oh, Mr. Dawkins. If you only knew how many people you’d alienate from your otherwise rational discourse on theology with one flippant phrase.

But because I pride myself on having an open mind (and because I am genuinely curious about this man’s arguments against Christianity, considering that I worked in a bookstore when The God Delusion was at the top of the bestseller list and the snazzily-designed, foil-covered volumes were selling like $7 beers at an outdoor concert in, say, Virginia Beach on a 100-degree day) (no, really, people were paying that much! I was one of them) I will overlook that one offense against my feminist ideals. But really, gentle Smooch-fans, if YOU were writing a book about views that are already controversial, would you want to further piss off the literate world by attacking a whole other non-religious belief system? I think a secular humanist would tread a little more lightly around feminism, for God’s sake. (Or rather, for not-God’s sake.)

But enough of my righteous (or non-righteous?) indignation. It’s late, and instead of typing, I should be reading. Have a lovely evening, my friends.

Oh my goodness, Smoochagator fans, I am SO SORRY for abandoning you for nearly a week! Let’s see, on Monday and Tuesday I was having memoir anxiety - I had yet to hit my stride with my WIP, which is odd for me - I almost always manage to find a groove about a paragraph in each day, and this project was falling flat on its face with every single sentence. And when I started thinking that perhaps the book I feel I was born to write wasn’t going to be written after all, I just didn’t want to write AT ALL, especially not some stinkin’ movie review for my website that no one reads. (This is not my grasp of reality talking, mind you, it’s my writerly self-loathing. I know that all too many of you understand.)

Wednesday I decided to just start over again, which of course wasn’t a good idea, because if I started over completely every time I was attacked by doubt, I’d never, ever finish a story, or a blog post, or even a SENTENCE. Ill-advised though it was, starting over and going in a different direction was the best thing I could have done. It’s still a first draft, but it’s a good first draft, and I’m feeling stronger every time I add to it.

I also decided on Wednesday that I needed some accountability to keep writing, as well as some feedback and validation along the way. The few times that I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo, I posted my daily wordcount to my livejournal, and got TONS of support and positive feedback. That kept me going. So I’m doing the same thing with my memoir, and just knowing that people are reading along, and (virtually) walking this journey of remembrance with me, gives me an incentive to sit down every day and write.

But I find that after I squeeze my heart and soul into my memoir project, I don’t have much left over for a coherent blog post. (I’m still posting to my livejournal, because God knows I’m RARELY coherent there.) So my website has gotten dusty, and I’m terribly sorry. Hopefully as this project progresses I’ll figure out a way to divide my time and energy, because blogging is so important to me. (More on that later, I think…)

Anyway, I promised movie reviews, so here you go:

The Day The Earth Stood Still was a disaster movie with a decidedly environmentalist bent, much like The Happening was a horror sci-fi movie with a decidedly environmentalist bent. What can I say about a disaster movie that’s ably acted and has lots of cool special effects, other than the fact that everyone did their job well? No disaster movie is created to win an Oscar; their whole purpose in life is to make moviegoers scream, “Holy shit!” and “Oooh, pretty!” Both of which I screamed as I watched TDTESS. Worth a rental, no mistake.

Slumdog Millionaire is a little harder for me to sum up in just a paragraph. Certain points were profoundly touching, others had me rolling with laughter, and others had me saying, “Come ON.” I don’t want to get all spoilery, so let’s just say that the older I get, the more suspicious I am of endings that are too happy. I am, however, still touched by youthful innocence and the triumph of an unlikely hero against all odds. Again, worth a rental. And the soundtrack kicks ASS.

To sum up my thoughts on every other bit of media I’ve consumed in the past week: Kirstie Alley is beautiful at 120 lbs. and 220 lbs. and I wish she could believe that; House is my new favorite TV show, Eat Pray Love is just as good the fourth time you read it as it was the first time, and Golddigger is a fantastically addictive song. (That last statement might have the Feminist Police coming for my F Card, but oh well.)

So that’s where I’m at, and I promise I’ll be around here more. Forgive me?

Emily is a little under the weather today, and feeling a little uninspired. However, she does have a few interesting things on deck for you, including a movie review of Employee of the Month (sneak preview of my review? IT WAS AWESOME). Send your good thoughts that Emily’s sniffles and sore throat don’t turn into an Illness EVENT. Let’s hope this is just an Illness INTERLUDE. Right? Okay.

I thought for sure I’d posted yesterday but apparently I didn’t. This makes sense considering how exhausted I was after gardening all weekend. Every muscle was sore and tight and I had a difficult time doing things like walking, sitting, standing, and blinking my eyes. So I laid around the house like a slug yesterday evening and went to bed at 10 p.m. Presto - I feel like a million bucks!

Today’s big news is that I’m wearing lipstick. I’m sure that doesn’t sound like big news to some of you, but considering that I almost NEVER wore makeup for the first 30 years of my life, it is kind of a big deal. Lately I’ve been on a makeover kick - new hairstyle, new clothes, new beauty regimen. I don’t think of it as a total Emily transformation - more like taking a good thing and making it better I like looking a little more polished, a little more grown up. My morning routine used to consist of tying my wet hair in a ponytail and slathering some moisturizer/sunscreen on my face. Now I take ten extra minutes to put a little more effort into my appearance, and baby, it SHOWS.

I would offer pictures of my lovely mug, as well as our completely overhauled flower beds, but alas, the cord that connects my camera to my computer for the purpose of uploading photos? Is missing. I’ve looked all over my home and office, and I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I’ll find it when it’s good and ready to be found. Until then, you’ll just have to imagine my azaleas (white! angelic!) and my lipstick (pink! fierce!).

Also new in Emily-land: I’ve been re-reading the Gospel of John and re-acquainting myself with several favorite passages. It’s been a long time since I did any serious Bible study, and I’ve changed quite a bit, so it’s an odd turn this time around. Not only have I forgotten a lot of things, but I’m also seeing everything I read in a new light. It’s the same book I remember, but it’s saying different things. (More on that later.)

Lastly, I have a mission this weekend: I’m going to bake bread. From scratch. Why? Because I’ve never done it before and I’ve heard it can be fun. That’s the plan for Sunday, because on Saturday Jon & I are going to a party at a friend’s place in North Carolina. I see copious amounts of beer and oysters in my future, and this makes me very, very happy.

It occurs to me that I ought to make this a regular weekly (perhaps biweekly?) posting tradition. You know, so I don’t forget to post, and so my devoted readers (all four of you) don’t miss out on a single minute of my Super Exciting Life

So here’s all my news that’s fit to print:

• Milo seems to have graduated to living outside his crate while we’re at work; he hasn’t made a single mess in the three days I’ve left his crate unlocked when I left for the day. Good job, Milo!
• The Hefty Cat kitty door arrived Thursday afternoon and Jon installed it in about 5.2 minutes. The cats had to be manually shoved through the door several times and bribed with canned food before they completely grasped the concept of coming & going as they please, but now they’re old pros. The mess of cat-ness is confined to our garage and we finally have a real Guest Room^TM. Yay!
• Saturday night was our housewarming party, and it was a HUUUUGE success. We had lots of guests (It’s probably a good thing, though, that not everyone we invited turned out - the place would have been a madhouse!) and lots of good food. Only downside: we were up LAAAAAAATE. Like 1 a.m. for me and 4 a.m. for Jon. No wonder we’re still tired today!
• Something you should know about me: I heart presents. I am not ashamed to say that my love of presents eclipses my warm fuzzy Jesus feelings at Christmastime. Peace on earth? Awesome. New stuff for me? EVEN AWESOMER. So I was stoked that a few folks were kind enough to bring gifts to the party. We’ve got Adirondack chairs for the backyard, and $100 in Lowe’s gift cards, and several lovely plants for our garden. Score!
• Jon wants to build a special enclosure for the cat boxes out of metal scraps and wood, so we’ll use part of the Lowe’s cards to buy the plywood for that project. We’ve been debating whether or not the enclosure needs a half-moon cutout on the sides, a la outhouse chic. What say you, internets: Y/N?
• The rest of the home improvement booty shall go to MORE GARDENING SUPPLIES. Our vegetable bed needs some tomato plants, and I really want to straighten out the flower beds out front and get some pretty shrubs planted. Only - ugh - the flower beds will require that I perform my Least Favorite Chore: weeding. Again I say, “Ugh.” But no pain = no gain, right? I’ll soldier through. Then I’ll take pictures to share with you.
• A friend of mine turned me on to Dreamwidth, an open source blogging site that seems to be a swifter, sexier version of Livejournal. I’ve been on LJ for nearly five years now, and like many of its users, I’m annoyed with the policy changes I’ve seen in the past couple of years. As my first (and currently only) post on Dreamwidth says: They had me at ad-free. Will I be able to keep up with THREE blogs? I really don’t know. I hope so, because I do love blogging like my dog loves rawhide. Which is a LOT.
• You know how I said that this past Friday was a big damn deal? I didn’t realize HOW big until I got talking with my ex later on that evening about all that was and could have been. I miss being a part of a church community, helping people, serving God and feeling like my life had a divine purpose. On Easter Sunday, I drove out to our old church - which has been sold by our Diocese to another local congregation - and walked around a bit. It’s a beautiful property, and will always be a Holy Place to me. But I realized yesterday that it’s not MY church anymore; it’s been given a new life, and I hope that all the good I (and many others) prayed for on its soil will come to fruition for the people who gather to worship there now. I need to find a new home, and I’m not sure how or when that’ll happen. It will happen, though; the Lord reminded me of his promise in Jeremiah 29:11-13, that he will give me purpose, and that I will find what I’m looking for.
• Lastly, have some cute:
  
  That’s Milo snoozing on my shoulder after dinner at the in-laws. He was tuckered out by the time this weekend was done!

That’s all I’ve got for today, y’all. Tune in later for more Emily-news. Until then, be good to each other